I, like most people, like to fit
in with the crowd. I don't like to stand out or have the attention and focus on
me. I want to be ordinary, a regular Joe (or Jane). Partially, it is my
personality, as an introvert, I get tired when I've had a lot of people
interaction, so fitting in minimizes the need to explain things or have the
focus on me. Partially, it is a selfish desire for approval; it is more
comfortable. As a Christian, I understand the call of Jesus is higher than
living in my bubble for a quiet life. Jesus asks us to pick up our cross and
follow Him, stepping out of our comfort zone for His Kingdom. This means being
called to be different and responding to others' questions about why we are.
He also sometimes puts us in circumstances that are far from
ordinary, and this is where my husband and I have found ourselves the past few
years: travelling on an extraordinary road with children with multiple extra
(neurodivergent) needs. Life looks different for us, it just does. I wrestled
with this for a long time. Why couldn't we do what other families were doing?
Why couldn't our children handle things that seemed easy for others? What were
we doing wrong? So we just pushed in, under enormous stress, trying to do what
other families do. But what was going on? Why were there so many meltdowns and
opposition? Why was even getting out of the house a living nightmare?
The multiple, extreme, violent meltdowns were what finally
clued me in. Maybe it wasn't us as parents, perhaps something else was going
on? It was a long journey where God graciously started revealing our kids'
unique needs. It was devastating and validating simultaneously.
It was a journey of grief. We were grieving the life we
expected and the challenges our children would face. We went through all the
grief stages (and still go back and forth at times) and then, for the most
part, came to acceptance. Even though life is exceptionally hard a lot of the
time and we honestly wish it wasn't, we thank God for diversity and the ability
to look at life with greater perspective, understanding, empathy, and
appreciation for the small things.
Our road is extraordinary. We don't present the way many
families do. Often, it feels like we are a whirlwind, a ball of chaos, a
torrential rain. It is incredibly stressful and turbulent, I don't enjoy that,
but there is great beauty in every victory, in each precious child who
possesses the very image of God, who professes Jesus as their Saviour and can
honestly say He can help them do hard things.
The road is rough, rocky, windy, and uncomfortable. There is
no pretending that it is easy. It does, however, at times, offer excellent
vantage points of scenery you wouldn't see anywhere else. It’s a track that
builds resilience and character like no other. God knows what He is doing. He
doesn't make junk or mistakes. He has good plans for all His children.
We will keep navigating this crazy road with the grace of
God and those He has put around us. Never have I known my need of God more! We
will endeavour to be real and allow the discomfort of being different to be a
strength. It is God who lights our way. I truly believe God will use our
children and their challenges to help others and be a testimony of God’s
ability to create diamonds in the rough.
This blog is my narrative of our travels on this unique
voyage. I can't give much advice about how to help struggling children, but I
can provide my understanding and empathy as a parent to another on this
extraordinary road.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of
those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” –
Romans 8:28
No comments:
Post a Comment